▶ Your Answer :The chart indicates how many products are carried by four particular transportations in the United Kingdom from 1974 to 2002. For the period of the survey, the products were transported by road, water and pipeline increased all, while the products carried by rail almost constant maintained at approximately 40 million tonnes.>> 이 두 문장은 오버뷰에 어울리는 내용입니다 In 1974 and in 2002, the largest quantity of goods transported was by road with around 70 and 100 million tonnes respectively. Otherwise, the quantity of products carried by pipeline pipeline-carried products were the lowest one, >> 앞에 문장을 꾸며주는 콤마 which를 쓰면 좋겠습니다 which was about 5 and 22 million tonnes each in 1974 and in 2002. The amount of products transported by water remained at 40 million tonnes from 1974 to 1978, and finally in 2002 it rose at around 65 million tonnes. 문장이 깁니다 끊어주세요 After that, which it remained at roughly 55 million tonnes for 20 years between 1978 and 1998.
The amount of products carried by rail showed the same quantities in 1974 and 2002. During that time, there were several increases and decreases. It is interesting to note that, in 1994, most products except pipeline declined except pipeline. 문장은 이걸로 충분합니다 다시 새롭게 시작해주세요 Meanwhile, whereas, in pipeline's case, it peaked at the highest score about 25 million tonnes at that time.
Consequently, the road sustained the most usable transportation to carry products, also the water and the pipeline have climbed >> climbed 스펠링 틀렸었구요 have pp 는 현재까지 이어지는 것을 말합니다 그냥 과거시제로 써주세요 gradually. Meanwhile, the rail remained the >> same 은 the와 다닙니다 same quatites continuously.
문법이 너무 비슷한 것들만 쓰이고 다른 부분들에서 틀린 것도 많네요 중간에 수식하거나 하고싶은 말은 중간에 집어넣기 보다는 뒤로 빼는게 더 좋습니다 그게 문법을 구성하기에도 안전하고 쉽구요 보시면 비교가 아닌 각자 항목에 대한 그저 분석만 하는 글입니다 비교를 해주세요
Task Achievement - 5 Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5 5.5 예상합니다 |