▶ Your Answer :
Both schools and parents must be responsible for children's educational development. Schools have a role of academical achievement and developing social skills, while parents affect children's basic characters which is related to foundation of human life. In this essay, both of issues will be discussed.
As a point of the school's role, It is an official place where that children learn not only academical knowledge but also social skills which are indispensable in their life. At school, with a planned time schedule, children are taught numerous subjects such as music, mathematics and literature. Plus, with by physical classes such as soccer or teamwork projects, the young would be taught how to communicate with others or co-operate with their mates. Therefore, education in school is a major part in children's development.
On the other hand, parent's education is a also another essential factor to help children to become a mature human being. Parents are role models for their children. Children learn how to act from by their parents. It means that parents affect effect on children's life heavily. Furthermore, the most important thing is being loved. Without emotional fulfillment, children will face with various mental problems which is detrimental to children's development/growth growing. By caring them and listening what they are saying, children might have confidence and it would bring about occur further successful achievement in any of area.
To sum up, I suggest that both of factors are responsible for should be provided to children's education.
Score: 6.5 Comment: 내용은 fair 한ㅌ데 문법이나 spelling이 틀리시는 곳이 많기 때문에 register가 조금 낮게 들립니다. 또한 글 정리를 더 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |