▶ Your Answer :
There are growing debates over whether nations should make an effort to study about outer space by with spending money or if this money needs to be spent to help the poor. In this essay, I will discuss about the view that insists the importance of space research and show my argument that people should place more value on humans' worth.
Some people say that outer space exploration is important because it is a good way to that we can find alternative energy resources. This is because the universe is a mysterious space so there is a possibility humans can find an enormous energy source. Also, it is true that humans on earth are suffering from a lack of fossil fuel on this planet. Furthermore, human beings may have to leave the earth because of serious environmental pollution. So, people should find a new planet where humans can settle. Therefore, space exploration is essential as it is directly connected with humans' survival in the future.
(글쓴이의 의견은 관점을 먼저 소개를 해주신 후 써주시면 더 좋습니다)>However, people should rethink about space research of whether is it really more valuable more than our neighbours' lives. No one can deny that the value of humans should be prioritized, but, even at this moment, a number of poor people are dying all over the world because of starvation starving. The governments should focus more on these people rather than universe study that can be a waste of a huge amount much money. The space is too spacious to study, so there is a limitation to find some new materials or new human's nest. Therefore, concentrating to problems that we can adequately deal with is more effective and valuable.
In conclusion, there are convincing arguments about exploring space, but I am convinced that people should try to handle the issues that people are now faced with because the value of people should not be ignored and our money need to be spent more meaningfully without waste.
Score: 7 Comment: Persuasive하고 좋은 내용도 많은 것 같습니다. 하지만 글정리를 조금 해주시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |