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Nowdays, many teenagers get a part-time job and it is not difficult to do so get a part-time job for teenagers. There are opinions about whether it is good or bad but there is a both opinions about it is good or bad. therefore we Therefore, we (사실 글을 작성할 때 1인칭은 정말 최소한의 선으로 줄여주셔야 합니다. 여기의 경우도 필수인 상황이 아니고요. 그러나 현재 문제는 정확한 문장을 만드는 것과 다양한 표현을 사용하는 것이기 때문에, 일단 이 부분은 그냥 두겠습니다.) are going to think what is better for teenagers.
Most teenagers who get a part-time job is high school students. and (문장의 첫 단어로 and but so 를 사용해서는 안 되고, 첫 단어는 대문자로 시작해주세요~) the reason why they get a job is to buy clothes, cosmetics or to make money in order to go on a trip with their friends for buying a clothes and makeup stuff or they want to go on a trip with there friends. The most important thing for students is to study, but when teenagers work part time, it would be hard for them to focus on studying things to do for students is 'study' but most teenagers who get a job, they are not focus on in study. Also they do not want to do night-time study at school. For instance, some of my friend who have a part-time job when he was in high school, he a friend of mine who had a part time job in high school, always slept in class and did not do his homework because his part-time job finished really late and the work was is hard. As a result, he was really tired at school so he could not concentrate on studying is really tired at school then he can not concentrate study. the one thing we have to know is he is not a poor. he always come to school by motorcycle and he travel abroad a lot. So why he need more money? (이 글은 스피치가 아닌 학술적 에세이이므로 의문형의 문장을 사용하지 말아주세요.) This is the reason this is reason why l disagree that teenagers should get a part-time job.
However, on the other hand there are some positive factors that come from having is some teenagers need to get a part-time job. It may be because the family needs help for economical problems or other private reasons. but if they really need help for economical problem, l think there is public supports to need help. thus l am not recommend to get a part-time job. (지금과 같이 discuss both opinions 유형에서는, 하나의 입장을 설명할 때 이를 다시 반박하는 것이 아닌, 온전히 그 입장의 장점에만 집중해주셔야 합니다.)
In conclusion, it is better to encourage teenagers to do not have a part-time job. Getting getting a job for teenagers will have negative influence for teenagers. |