▶ Your Answer : In recent years, there has been a lot of discussions about the effect of having opposite different 혹은 both 가 좋겠네요 sexes in the same classroom for education. Regarding this, some opponents argue that female and male>> 영어에서 보통 남자를 먼저 쓰는 것도 있고 여자를 쓰는 것도 있지만 이 부분에선 남자를 먼저 씁니다 students should be taught separately, whereas the others insist that they need to study together to grow their social skills as well as to adjust to the competive environment in an unbiased circumstance. In this essay, I will explore these two viewpoints and give my opinion.
On the one hand, there is a common belief that boys and girls cannot concentrate on their study, if they are in the same class. This is because they can be easily distracted due to the interest in the opposite sex during their adolescence. In addition, when male and female students are put apart, they tend to study more various subjects. For example, a study by the Seoul National University shows that boys would take up a sewing or dancing class by 20% more when there are no girls. >> 문장이 길어서 끊었습니다 It is because humiliation of sexual stereotypes does not prevent them from choosing the class. Thus, it is obvious that divided class or school is more efficient at school. >> Male peers consider the activities as shame on themselves. 정도도 괜찮을 듯 싶네요
On the other hand, it is believed by some people that mixed class or school can help students obtain better social skills. By being friends with the opposite sex between different gender, students can learn how to socialise with each other, which is necessary training before they entre the real world. Accoridng to the research conducted by the Hanyang University, 48% of graduates from women's high schools/universities in Korea experienced difficulties to work with male coworkers. Also >> also but and or so 는 문두에 쓰지 않습니다, it is more likely to be a fair competition when male and female students are together. >> 문장이 깁니다 수식에 수식에 더한 것은 누구나 읽기에 좋아하지 않습니다 It is because as this surrounding is what they will confront in workplace in the future.
All things considered >> considering the reasons above , whilst some people think that boys and girls should be separated for better concentration and to feel free from sexual stereotypes, I strongly agree with the idea that opposite sex students need to be in similar situation from school attending for a prior exeprience of society. >> 정말 너무너무 깁니다 In my opinion, students will learn a lot much more not just in study but aslo in socialising with each other when boys and girls are in the same class or school.
boys and girls sex 등 비슷한 단어들만 너무 많이 사용이 되네요 다른 식으로도 단어들을 바꿔주세요 문장이 너무 길단 흠이 있습니다
Task Achievement - 7 Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6 6.0 예상합니다 |