▶ Your Answer : In modern society, there has been an increasing interest about possessing luxuries made by famous companies among consumers. The causes of this trend might be materialism >> Materialism 이 주어로 가게 작문하는게 더 부드럽겠습니다 and the impact of celebrities>> celebrities 에 의해 어떻게 영향을 받았죠?. In my opnion, this has not brought more happiness to our society, comparing to the past. In this essay, I will examine the two reasons of the issue and give my opinion.
First of all, the improvement of an average living standard with increased income has made it possible for people to buy luxuries. Let's >> Let us take about Korea as an example. After the Korean War, the entire country was in great poverty. However, >> 깁니다 but after incredible industrial development, it is easy to see people owning cars, computers, >> 세 개 이상 나열된 것의 맨 뒤에 콤마 넣어주세요 and travelling overseas at every household nowadays. Clearly, people have desire to spend their rest of money on extra items after taking care of baisc needs as long as they can afford.
Furthermore, an entertaining industry has become bigger and bigger around the world, which has an enormous effect on consumers. That is to say, people watch television programmes such as soap operas and advertisments showing how fabulous they can be if they copy imitate celebrities. For instance, clothes and accessories that popular figures use >> 문장이 어떻게 되는지 모르겠네요 are easily sold out as soon as an actor or his/her someone's work wins a prize. As the example illustrates, it is evident that people care a lot about appearance and constantly hope constantly to possess what they think will improve their appearance items could make their appearance improved by following famous people.
To sum up, there is no doubt that the materialistic trend is widespread around the world because of the increased wealth and the expansion of an industry of entertainment industry. However, I think that this does not fulfill the happiness of people because those luxurious items do not last forever with quickly in this quick changing fashion. In my opinion, people should care about how to achieve their mental satisfaction without those possessions.
문장들이 너무 깁니다 또한 작문도 약간씩 걸리는 부분들이 있구요 일단 문장만 잘라주셔도 훨씬 나아질 듯 합니다
Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6 6.0 예상합니다 |