▶ Your Answer : In this contemporary era, some people >> some 만 쓰진 말아주세요 claim that international tourists should pay more than should defray higher fees in visiting important sites and monuments than local people to visit important sites and monuments. I completely disagree with this argument and this essay will explore diverse reasons for it that aliens have to pay more than natives with some follwing reasons below.
To begin with, the argument in favour of higher prices for foreign tourists would be that cultural or historical attractions often depend on state subsidies to keep them going, which means that the resident population residents living near landmarks or monumental sites already pays money to these sites through the tax system. However, I believe that this would be a very shortsighted view. Foreign tourists contribute to the economy of the host country with the money they spend on a wide range of goods and services, including food, souvenirs, accommodation and travel >> 삭제해주세요 For example, foreign tourists contribute to the economy of the host country by spending their money while travelling around. The governments and inhabitants of every country should be happy to subsidise important tourist sites and encourage people from the rest of the world to visit them.>> 무슨 말인지 모르겠습니다 내용이 왔다갔다 해서요 말이 반복되구요 처음엔 거주자들이 이미 세금을 냈다 하는데 갑자기 이건 근시안적인 관점이다 하면서 반대 논리를 제시하는건 정말 좋지 않은 글쓰기입니다
In addition, the relatively high price could reduce the number of visitors from overseas. >> 주장이 필요합니다 if travellers realised that they would have to pay more to visit the sights in a particular nation, they wil perhaps decide not to go to the high-price country anymore. To take South Korea as an example, the tourism industry and many related jobs rely on visitors coming to the country to see tourist destinations like such as Bulgoksa temple and Kyongbokgung palace which are famous attractions >> 불국사 경복궁의 투어와 관련된 사람들이나 여행산업이 타격을 받을 수 있다 식으로 작성해주세요. These two sites charge the same price regardless of nationalities, >> 콤마 빼주세요and this helps to promote the nation’s cultural heritage>> how?. If overseas tourists stopped coming >> to where? due to higher prices, there will be a risk of insufficient funding for maintaining the attractions.
In conclusion, I believe that every effort should be made to attract tourists from overseas,>> 콤마 빼주세요 and it would be counterproductive to make them pay more than local residents.
주어가 다른 경우 and 앞에 콤마 붙이지 마시구요 가정법 과거는 현재 사실에 반대입니다 현재 사실과 반대되는 내용이 아니므로 현재 써드렸구요 논리가 뒤죽박죽입니다 문법도 굉장히 약하구요 오류가 상당히 많습니다 문법적 오류와 논리로 글을 이해 못하겠는 부분이 많았습니다 주의해주세요 문장 정확도 구조 다양성 모두 약하고 어휘도 중복이 많고 약합니다 문법 단어 공부 먼저 하시고나서 Task1 써주세요 그러고나서 Task1 제대로 쓰시면 그때 Task2 써주세요 아직 Task2는 무리가 있습니다 실력 향상에 도움이 되지 않습니다
Task Achievement - 5 Coherence and Cohesion - 4 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 4
4.5 예상합니다 |