▶ Your Answer :
In today's well-being society, no one would deny that improving public health is one of significant issues around the globe. Some groups consider building many sports facilities to the best way for public health, while others disagree with this idea. I support the former idea, in this essay, I will discuss the both aspects and my opinion will be followed. First of all, people who are saying that more amenities are needed insist there is not sufficient place to exercise such as parks and sports centres. Especially in big cities, although many populations are living, this kinds of facilities are relatively inadequate to use. Moreover, some places for health education are also needed. For example, the public can use some vacants of these amenities to get information or take lessons about health care. On the other hand, others believe there are already enough facilities, but the problem is they are just utilized by specific groups such as the rich or those who have big interest in sports. Most people do not know how to use these resources and even where they are. In addition, they say that building new sports conveniences waste too much budget, which can be spent on more effective solutions. Although both aspects have acceptable points in deciding whether making more sports facilities is the most effective solution for the nations' health, I consider that provision of sufficient opportunity should take priority of the public health. For instance, in Korea, after making more parks and public sports centers provided at little or no cost, the life expectancy increased over the last decade. In conclusion, I acknowledge that the number of facilities does not automatically mean that the public will use them. However, if the essential infrastructure is not prepared, other attempt in the next step for public health would be much less effective. (263)
agree/disagree 은 알겠는데 discussion/my opinion 은 참 어렵네요....ㄷㄷ 제가 뭐라고 쓴건지 모르겠습니다 ㅠㅠㅠ discussion/my opinion 이면 1. intro 2. 한쪽의견 3. 다른쪽 의견 4. 내의견 5. 결론 이렇게 써야하나요?ㄷㄷ 아니면 agree/disagree 처럼 제 의견을 좀 더 다뤄도 되는건지..ㅠ 양쪽 의견을 다 쓰려니 양쪽 의견 다 논리가 부실해지는것 같습니다 ㅠㅠㅠ
다른 분들 글을 보니 1. intro 2. 한쪽의견 3. 다른쪽 의견 4. 결론- 나는 ~에 agree 한다. 이렇게 적는 분들도 계시던데... 어떤게 좋은 구조인지 조언 부탁드립니다 ㅠ
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