▶ Your Answer :
Nowadays, most enterprises require students to have competitive practical skills including computing skill. Some hold the view that collegians should pay more attention to academic courses such as mathematics. However, contrary to this notion, others claim that applicable skills will make students have jobs with high salary. From my point of view, training useful skills would be beneficial for students` future career. <(practical course랑 theoretical course에 대한 distinction이 clear 하지 않습니다)
Above all, a number of professors argue that students need to gain more knowledge from academic lectures due to the fact that it would make them not only plan what they want to study further but also have stronger insights during the period of university. Moreover, such subjects might stimulate collegians` intellectual curiosity, then they will become one of the pivotal figures developing the society by finding out a remarkable scientific facts and improving current social theories. As a result, the young generation will be able to solve several problems which former generations have were not enable to carry on.
On the other hand, those people are not aware of the disastrous economic situation in the modern society. The underlying reason is that a growing number of nations have been going through the economic recession and students should enter the work force in order to pay back their student loans. Thus, the young generation is forced to have well-paid jobs as soon as they graduate from university. What is more, most multinational enterprises have looked forward to hire competitive candidates having diverse skills varying from language skills to computing skills. In addition, young students can broaden their perspectives via practical elective lectures since they can exchange opinions with other colleagues who have different backgrounds including majors. (여기서의 point of view는 어느 쪽인지 모르겠습니다)
To sum up, I personally believe that taking practical sessions is significantly essential for students` future career path. This is because those learners can enlarge their outlook and enter the work force more easily.
Score: 5 Comment: 표현들이 한정 되있으시고 informal 한 경우가 아직 있으십니다. 또한 directly 지격을 하시면 좋지않습니다. Academic course는 practical/theoretical 둘다 포함이 될수있습니다. 여러 부분이 아직 헷갈리게 들립니다. 내용을 조금 더 정리가 필요한것 같습니다. 또한 지난 글들과 비교했을때 singular/plural 에 대해 자주 틀리시는것 같습니다. Conclusion 도 need more wok on 입니다. |