▶ Your Answer :
The line graphs elucidate the information about the rates of waste
recovery and recycling rates in USA for the period 1960 to 2011.
It is apparent that, the recycling was capable to cover the
garbage waste in the US. However, as the amount of garbage waste increases the
recycling could not cope.<(increase in garbage waste 정보는 없는 그래프 입니다) As a result, the amount of garbage waste was exceeding
more than the US can recycle.<(again, garbage waste에 대한 정보는 없는 그래프 입니다) It is apparent that, the recycling was capable to cover the
garbage waste in the US. However, as the amount of garbage waste increases the
recycling could not cope. As a result, the amount of garbage waste was
exceeding more than the US can recycle.
As it can be shown from the graph, the recycling rate was more
than the garbage waste in 1960 where it recorded at 5.6 million tons of garbage
was thrown in the US while 6.4% of waste had been recycled. However, this amount
of garbage continued to increase to reach at almost the same amount as the
recycling proportion in 1985. By 1985, the garbage reached at 16.7 million tons
while 10.1% of those waste was recycled. From 1900, the garbage waste was more than what was recycled that can recycle. In
1990, the waste was reached at 33.2 million tons whereas only 16% was can be recycled.
The recycling percentage ability continued to increase but it was not able to cannot catch up with the
rapid incremental trend of wastes in the US which reached at its peak of 86.9
million tons in 2011. Concurrently, the recycling ability had increased
steadily to reach at 34.7% in 2011.
Score: 5.5 Comment: 글은 잘 써주셨지만 그래프를 조금 잘못 이해하신 것 같습니다. Waste recovery는 버려진 쓰레기가 아니라 재활용된 쓰레기입니다. 잘못된 정보를 전달하시지 않도록 주의 해주시기를 바랍니다. 감점 요인이 될 수 있습니다. 문법상 시제에 주의 해주시기를 바랍니다. 시제가 맞지 않으면 문장이 어색하게 들립니다. 그 외에는 같은 문단을 두벌 서술해주셨습니다. Repetitive하게 쓰지 않도록 주의 해주시기를 바랍니다. 마지막으로 첨삭이 너무 늦어서 죄송합니다. 수고 하셨습니다.
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