▶ Your Answer :
Tthe given first pie chart illustrates the pivotal reasons of learning overseas foreign languages and the second pie chart depicts the
latest trends of learning a foreign language by students. "how many teachers felt that there has been a recent change in the reason"이라고 되어 있던 내용과는 다른 것 같아요. 교사가 느끼는 변화이니 단순히 '최근의 트렌드'라고 하기엔 이상하지 않을까요?
Iin brief, the travel is the most popular
reason for learning a foreign language before trends changed, while buying property
overseas has have got considerable higher proportions than other effects in recent time.
Iin more detail, the most preferable reason reasons
for learning a foreign language languages was travel with 33 percent, compared to the one of latest
days which was hugely diminished down to 3 percent. In addition, the business
and work had a second top rank for learning with 26 percent, but it was also
slightly decreased to 19 percents. However, buying property overseas was
possessed the biggest figure of 34 percent in nowadays, whereas the proportion
of this section was 19 percent before. in last days.
On top of this, learning foreign overseas languages
in the rest of crucial reasons followed a similar patterns, all remaining at
between 3 to 7 percent in last time. Hhowever, foreign partner and general
interest were both slightly increased after new days came by 1 percent than
that of 3 percent and 5 percent respectively. Bbesides, the additional sections had was no change in recent time with 15 percent that did not exist was not existed before. additional sections라는 게 의미하는 바가 무엇인가요? '추가항목은 15퍼센트로 변화가 없는데 전에는 존재하지 않았었다'라고 해석이 되어서 어색합니다.
IELTS 1-9 score scale score: 5 modest user
문제가 조금 잘린 것인지 chart가 담은 주제가 불분명한 것 같아요. 제가 chart내용을 제대로 파악하지 못했으니 감안해서 첨삭 읽어주세요~ 내용을 제외하고는 작문에서 대소문자나 수량표현이 틀린 부분 신경써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고하셨습니다! 아이엘츠 라이팅 채점기준 참고하세요 - TA/TR(Task Achievement/Task Response) 문제에 정확히 답변, 적정 분량 - CC(Coherence and Cohesion) 일관성, 응집성 - LR(Lexical Resource) 다양한 어휘표현 - GR(Grammartical Range and Accuracy) 문법 다양성, 정확성 |