Genetic engineering is an important issue in
society today. Some people think that it will improve people’s lives in many
ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both these
views and give your own opinion.
In the contemporary epoch, as the bio-technologies have been rapidly developed, the relevant social issues surfaced. In this essay, I will discuss two perspectives about that those issues and give my opinion on it. (논제의 genetic engineering, improve, threat 등을 전혀 반영하지 못하고 너무 포괄적으로 쓰인 상태입니다. 조금 더 구체적으로 반영해주세요!)
Animals and plants that contain genetically edited DNA or RAN impact positively on socially urgent problems such as famine, hunger and shortage of water. For example, plants with modified genes can grow more quickly fastly than original plants. By planting and harvesting those plants in the most vulnerable nations such as Afghanistan, residents in that area who are suffering from the hunger over the hundreds years can overcome their problems with abundant supplements and food. Also, the bacteria, which favour in genetic engineering, can purify water without (여기에 동사를 하나 넣어주세요~) tremendous budgets on building new system occupying large spaces.
However, even if it produces feasible and viable solutions to the social issues, still, many people concern that it can cause ethically controversial problems. To be more specific, cloning animals or plants ruin and undermine the originality and value of the human being itself. Since many people desperately want to prolong their life-spans and immortality, this technology can be misused by a handful of people; they can abuse and manipulate others’ lives.
Personally, I believe that the genetic technology causes several problems with ethical and political issues. As I mentioned above, the people who want an immortality, generally the rich people, can become easily ignoring ignorant to the value of lives. Also, the dichotomy between the rich and the poor will be worsened than ever before. The rich will take the advantages of that technology by replacing their worn-out organs into newly created organs from the poor. The poor can be used as a tool or device to generate new and health organs, not as a human being.
In conclusion, the genetic technology will produce socially harmful problems, because it makes worsens the gap between social hierarchy worsen than ever before.
총평: (7/6/7/7) 7.0
문법의 경우 자잘한 오류가 조금씩 보이는 편이라 6점으로 내려갈 가능성도 있어서 그건 감안해주셔야 하고, 서론은 위에 말씀드렸듯이 수정해주세요!
+현 유형에서는, 굳이 내 의견과 결론을 따로 독립시킬 필요는 없고 그냥 하나로 만들어주시면 됩니다. 현재 네 번째 문단은 없애주시되, 대신 그 내용을 세 번째, 다섯 번째 문단에 조금씩 배분해주시면 돼요. 모범답안을 보시면 대략 어떤 느낌인지 아실 겁니다. 수고하셨습니다 :)
29분/ 315자