항상 첨삭해주셔서 감사합니다! 목표점수는 6.0이구 시험은 이번주 토요일에 봅니다.
Overall, it is clear that the percentages in these three countries has increased, and this trend is predicted to be maintained predicting to remain this trend during the entire research period.
(구체적인 수치가 들어가는 경우 overview 에 넣어서는 안 됩니다. 이렇게 나눠주시고, 이후 두 개의 글도 마찬가지로 나눠주세요!)
The proportion of German elderly people had by far the greatest figures (20.45%) while the UK had the smallest percentage (14.23%) at the beginning of the period. Thus, Canada is second nation in this table and this trend has retained by the end of period.
Looking at the table more closely, the nation where has the most increase of percentage is Canada which rises over 10% (퍼센트포인트로 넣어주셔야 합니다.) from 1988 to 2030. On the other hand, Germany and the UK are the countries where have the inclining percentage is under 10% (여기도 마찬가지이고요.). (from 20.45% to 30.42%, from 14.23% to 20.35% respectively). (진짜 괄호는 웬만하면 쓰지 않는 게 좋긴 한데, 6.0만 필요하다고 하셨으니까 저도 그렇게 강조해서 말씀드리지는 않겠습니다.) In terms of Britain, it was the only country that the elderly people are living took under 20% of the whole population in the year 2000.
총평: (6/6/6/6) 6.0
7점 이상으로 놓고 보면 이런저런 수정사항이 있지만, 6점 정도면 무난하게 받으실 수 있을 겁니다. 퍼센트포인트 링크를 하나 걸어드릴테니 이건 꼭 확인해주세요! 수고하셨습니다 :)
https://www.gohackers.com/?c=ielts/ielts_info2/ielts_story&type=url&uid=469234undefined