▶ Your Answer : Increasing advertisements is sure to have far-reaching effects on modern society. From this aspect, a contentious question is raised about >> whether 는 접속사라 전치사가 없이도 하나의 문장을 데려올 수 있습니다 whether the merits of the advertising surpass its demerits or not. In this essay, pros >> 틀리진 않지만 pros보단 advantage 가 더 좋은 어휘입니다 will be addressed as follows.
A high number of consumers can purchase wisely products with wisdom >> 부사로 간단하게 처리할 수 있습니다. Although several advertisements introduced by mass media such as television or radio mainly focus on those advantages, they helps customers to make a best choice and a judgement>> Judgment 가 맞는 스펠링이며 가산명사로 취급될 수 있기에 a를 붙여드렸습니다. This is because the advertising offers a great deal of information, which guides buyers to compare its features with other similar products.In addition, the advertising is similar to a 'Wake-up call' to consumers. For example, with the era of overflowing mass media and online, the advertisement informs buyers the latest or the >> 병렬이라 할지라도 관사는 붙여주시는게 좋습니다 newest products.
However, one problem follows after those benefits. When many of those >>many of 명사는 명사의 범위를 한정시키는 것입니다 부가적인 설명은 밑에 코멘트에서 드리겠습니다 who mainly rely on advertising purchase a new product in a shopping mall, they could be deceived by exaggerated advertisements. To exemplify, a specific standard of law regarding online-shopping or home-shopping mall is not decided yet, and this, in turn, causes a massive amount of refunds from the customers who are lured by the overstated advertisements.
To recaptitulate, the embroidered advertisements could overemphasize a disadvantage of advertising to some extent. But >> But Also And Or So 는 문두에 쓰지 않는 접속사입니다 However 를 써주세요, it leads numerous buyers to rational purchase with diverse information and plays an 'Alarm-clock' >> alarming role which indicates an existence of up-to-date products for the consumers.
문장 전체 흐름과 논리는 좋았지만 misspell 이 꽤 있었습니다 컴퓨터 상 오타도 있었지만 오타가 아닌 오류도 보였습니다 수일치에서도 오류를 보였으니 조그마한 부분이라도 참고 부탁드리며
Most of students in the class are smart - 그 교실에 있는 대부분의 학생들은 똑똑하다 Most students are smart - 대부분의 학생들은 똑똑하다
차이가 느껴지시나요? many 혹은 most of 명사가 나올 땐 명사의 범위를 한정시키는 역할을 합니다
위의 내용들 참고 부탁드리겠습니다
Task Achievement - 7 Coherence and Cohesion - 7 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammartical Range and Accuracy - 6
6.5 예상합니다
단어가 좋았지만 미스스펠이 많았던 점에서 아쉽습니다 단어가 조금 더 정확했다면 7점도 가능할 수 있으리라 봅니다 |