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When we walk into a social welfare centre, we can see a lot of teenagers in there. Some of them seem to be happy to do voluntary works and some of them but the others are not. Then, why some students are forced to do community services?
It is a reason of the courses of high school,>> 콤마 빼주세요 to do the volunteering for certain hours to attend unpaid community services. The Programmes are mandatory, so students have no choice. >> so but 연속으로 접속사가 와서 이어지면 글이 길어지고 지루해집니다 However, but they are to do voluntary works, >> 콤마 빼주세요 such as helping for a charity or improving the neighborhood >> 어떤 뜻인지 모르겠네요.>> 처음 작성하신 글도 오류가 있습니다 주어가 없네요 접속사 다음에
Some public believes that,>> 콤마 빼주세요 this system is not helpful and a bit of nonsense. Forcing the students, who do not wanted to attend, to do the community service by students, who do not wanted to attend, is not helpful for motivating neither students nor others. It can make an atmosphere less motivated. Furthermore, it is in a contradiction to do compulsory voluntary works as a compulsory.
On the other hand, it makes a great effect to children and also society. Although some of students do not want to help peoples, when they do it, it actually contributes to a society. Doing compulsory community services in compulsory,>> 콤마 빼주세요 also can change teenagers’ personality. Teenagers’ personality is not has been not settled yet. Therefore, making them to do warm-hearted acts like ,such as 가 더 아카데믹합니다 working for a charity, can make them as general adults. >> 사춘기라 그런가요? 사춘기라 본인들의 자아가 형성이 안 돼서 그렇다고 지적해주세요
In conclusion, the thing that defines one’s personality is not in there mind but on action. Kind actions can make people kind, no matter the action was compulsory or not.
문법에서 오류가 너무 많습니다 고쳐주시길 바랍니다 문법도 한정적이며 근거가 충분하지 않습니다 다시 한 번 봐주시길 바랍니다 Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5 5.0 예상합니다
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