▶ Your Answer : The current society, almost of people contact with each other through electronic gadgets like >> such as 가 더 좋습니다 smart phones and computers. It means that the way to communicate has been altered.>> 변화가 좋은지 나쁜지 서론에서 본인 글에 대한 방향성을 제시해주셔야 합니다
Originally, people could keep in touch with friends using telephones and letters. However, since the applications like such as Kakao talk, a messenger for smart phone >> 카카오톡은 다른 나라 사람들은 모릅니다 어떤 것인지 써주셔야 합니다, and Facebook in computer , they arouse the way of communication revolution throughout all of the world. These things make poeple more convenient and comfortable. Meanwhile, it also provides human beings with side effects. It is >> because 단독으로 문두에 쓰지 않습니다 because of its prevalence, emotional communication between person to person people has been being lessened. In addition, the social ability >> 사회적 능력은 모호합니다 socializing 이 좋겠네요 is being deceased due to the tendancy of making friends only online.
Despite of these reasons, I think the improvement of electronic appliances has various benefits more than negatives things. Firstly, people can communicate with their friends regardless of time and place. Furthermore, thanks to the ability, people can call the friends who live in other countries easily. Connecting to the applications and computer programmes, people can receive the news of friends like such as alumni, who do not contact for a long time. Moreover, to make pen pals friends is easier than before >> 펜팔의 본래 의미 상으론 디지털이 아닌 손 편지를 보내는 것입니다 어울리지 않는 문맥입니다. It could make an educative chance to learn different customs and cultures.
Judging from those reasons, development of electronic products has both of positive and negative things. Nevertheless, it includes harmful things for humans, so I am totally convinced that the positive things like such as contacting to contact anywhere and anytime,>> 콤마 빼주세요 to check others' news and to give a chance to accept other countries' cultures through pen friends are more effective to human beings. >> 문장이 너무너무 깁니다
문법적 오류가 많습니다 스펠링도 컴퓨터라 어느정돈 이해하겠지만 o 와 e 는 오타로 될 수 없어 틀린 것으로 보입니다 꼼꼼히 봐주세요
Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5 5.5 예상합니다 |