Firstly, we assumed that 'pen and paper' only use to assess an educational achievement,>> 접속사가 없는데 이어질 수 없고 주장은 간단히 한 문장이면 됩니다 probably supervisors and educators deal easily with educational achievements. It is because they can list order figures which is from examination and then cut off the range of measured list>>??. However, in from students view, only a one time, they are measured by their educational achievements even though they had occurred made mistakes. In For this reasons , it shows that the 'pen and paper' formal examination can't cannot measure the whole student's educational achievements in just one short time.
To further measure effectively educational achievement, long term project or assignment would be needed. The long term project is able to assess continuously and encourage to student's motivation of learning subject. However, measures this like would probably being someone who copy and theft the other's objects. Assignment as assessing educational achievement has advantage continuously assessing their accomplishment but also has drawback the originality of assignment.
A more feasible approach would be the best method of measuring educational achievement is that formal examination and long term assignment combined method. The educator assesses easily by using formal examination and they can measure the educational achievement deal with assignment which students trying to effort to research the subject. And the student also sat examination comfortably because they already researched it. Consequently, the best method of educational achievement is formal examination and long term assignment combined method.
각 문단 첫 시작은 한 칸 띄우고 시작합니다
문장이 이해가 안 가는 부분이 너무 많고 문법도 제대로 지켜지지 않고 단어도 계속 반복되는 상황이라 첨삭이 무의미하다고 생각합니다
단어와 문법이 너무 부족해서 글 흐름 전개 자체가 잘 안 되고 있습니다 서론 본론 결론을 구성하는 방법도 본론에서 주장 - 설명 - 예시의 형태로 구성하는 법도 제대로 갖춰져 있지도 않습니다
점수를 드리는 것도 좋지 않을 듯 싶고 우선 글을 쓰기 보다는 단어와 문법부터 잡은 후 한글로 논리를 구성해보고 영어로 옮겨쓰는 연습 해보시길 바랍니다 또한 Task2 가 아닌 Task1 을 써보시길 바랍니다 아직 Task2 는 너무 이르다고 생각합니다
추가로 대학에 가면 문제에서 주어진 단어와 세가지 이상 겹치면 표절이라고 봅니다 아이엘츠도 마찬가지로 학원이든 누구한테 물어보든 문장 최대한 페러프레이즈 하라고 배울겁니다 그러려면 문법 단어가 강해야 하구요