▶ Your Answer :
The bar graph illustrates the amount of money spent monthly on three distinct types of instant food such as hamburger, fish and chips, and pizza by different income level groups(different groups 가 어떻게 나뉘었는지 괄호 안에 써주세요 고, 중, 저 처럼요) in Britain in 1990.
At first glance, it is clear that the amount of money consumed on junk food is directly related to income level. >> 이런 설명보단 분석이 좋습니다 People in receiving high income group spent the largest amount of money especially on hamburger with over 40 million dollars per month, which was nearly three times as much as the figure in the low income group. Although pizza was the least popular junk food across every groups, more than twice of money was spent on it by high income earners at about 20 million than by low income earners ones at just over 5 million. Fish and chips was the mostly chosen by people in average income group, those who consumed around 25 million for this kind of junk food.
To sum up, people spent more money >> than what ? on fast food as they earn more money and there were differences in the types of food eaten by each group.
워드에서는 181 자라고 뜨는데 왜 이렇게 짧아보이죠 ㅠㅠ
계속해서 bar 그래프 도전해봅니다 ㅠ
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네 181자는 절대 긴 글이 아니에요 그러니 딱 큰 포인트만 짚어서 말해도 충분히 150자 넘길 수 있습니다 보시면 큰 부분들만 언급하신 것 같네요 잘 파악하셨구요 group 대신 people = workers 등으로 받아줄 수도 있겠습니다 전치사를 동사 등으로 받아주는 등의 다양한 구조의 표현력들을 키우시면 더 재밌는 글이 되고 어휘나 구조 다양성 등에서 높일 수 있을 듯 싶습니다
Task Achievement - 7 Coherence and Cohesion - 7 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6 6.5 예상합니다
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