▶ Your Answer :
Government funding is a crucial issue in modern society. In this respect, a question that is raised for some people to believe is that assisting artists through the government assets is valuelss and the funding should be spent to supports other important parts. In this essay, the reasons why helping artisits is an necessary method will be personally explained.
First of all, it is clearly seen that a growth of nation's value is one of the a significant reasons. This is because the government financial patronising artists ensures the artisits to promote their ability of creativity regardless of limitations in financial problem. Although supporting the artist does not result in immediate positive outcome to the nation, backing the artist allows to developing the level of the nation's art industry in a long term. In addition, the funding is not only meaning making beneficial art products, but also finding artists who are underestimated of value in art field. To be specific, In Korea, artist Namjune Beck becoame famous artist in the would world as a result of nation's financial supporting.
However, some people hole the view that the government's funding system is biased 이 문장만으로는 상당히 이해하기 힘든 애매한 문장입니다. This may mean that the supporting the artists does not have impartial measurement. In fact, most of artists still have financial problems, while other famous artists who are not in need of financial support are assisted with funding form from the government. For this reason, people argue that the government havse to aid more efficient important sectors, (comma) such as education, health and infrastructures which contribute to prompt benefits for the nation.
In conclusion, the financial helping to artists with public budget needed to be a careful approached and the lack of fair system should be overcome. However, the financial supporting the underrated artists brings a highly improvement of nation's value ?이 문장에서 주어는 무엇이며 어디까지가 주어입니까. In this sense, the government should focus on more funding the hidden values.
SCORE: 5+
Comment: 애매한 주어의 설정 (주어가 어디까지인지 이해가 안되는 부분) 이라던지 잘못되거나 애매한 단어의 선택이 글을 이해하기 힘들게 합니다.
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