In modern day, the same products are sold selling all over the world in global markets, and this phenomenon caused that the differences between countries to disappear are disappeared. I think this is a positive development for both of a customers and a merchandisers. Firstly, this essay will discuss about the positive aspects that customers have wide options to buy products, and secondly, discuss that how many products effect for economic growth through exportation.
Customers are able to access a to wide range of products in the world that is incredibly benefits for them. Because it means that people can compare a quality of products and prices in wider options.<(sentence fragment이며 의미 전달이 잘 안됩니다) They can choose and consume the better products for more reasonable prices. Couple of years ago, the furniture company called Ikea from Sweden started to do business in South Korea. Thus, Korean people are able to enjoy decent designs of furniture and interior styles of the North Europe for cheaper prices than furniture made by Korean companies. However, It could cause reduction in reducing domestic markets.
Global markets have advantages for merchandisers as increasing demand <(unclear). They can earn income much more by having consumers in other countries around the world. For instance, bunch of salmons are caught in Norway that has clean oceans. But the population in Norway is not enough to consume the all the of salmons for food. Therefore their supply and demand can be matched by exportation. Despite this, there will be an the imbalance between supply and demand.
In conclusion, selling and buying products all over the world have positive effects in an aspect of wide opportunities to buy products for customers and a side of increasing income for sellers. Finally, it is predicted that the competition between producers will increase. But this environment makes better products and services in global markets.
Score: 6.5
Comment: 전체적으로 글정리를 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 글쓴이의 주장이 전체적으로 clear하지 않게 들립니다. 이유는 body를 잘 서술해주셨는데 concluding은 negative하다는 느낌으로 서술해주셨습니다. positivist이라고 해주신 만큼 positive하다 라고 concluding을 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. negative한 내용을 써주실려면 그 내용은 argue를 해주시거나 아니면 안좋은 면도 있지만 이러한 장점으로 커버가 가능하다 라는 내용을 써주시면 될 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다.