▶ Your Answer : The diagrams show how to produce concrete and cement. Cement production is prior to the concrete production. To begine with, cement production is consists of four steps. First, limestone and clay are put into the crusher, and become powder type of material. After that process, the powder goes through the to mixer to be combined together two raw ingridents equally. Third level is the heating process. The rotating heater rotates the powder mix and heats it evenly. The heated powder goes through a to grinder, finally becoming cement. Compared to the cement production, concrete only need two step for production. Unlike cement, proportion of ingredients play a heavy role in this process. First of all, 15% of cement, 10% of water, one fourths of sand, and 50% half of gravel, which are is small stones, are put into the concrete mixer. After, The concrete mixer combines all the materials together, producing concrete. Completing the concrete process. In conclusion, to produce the cement, we need to produce concrete by four steps, from clay and limestome to concrete. Completed concrete are goes into the mixer wich creating Concrete which packed and send to construction site.<(따로 필요한 내용은 아닙니다) Score: 6.5 Comment: 두 그림을 잘 이해하신 것 같습니다. 문법상 문장구조와 표현에 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. Punctuation에도 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 콤마가 필요한 곳에 콤마를 안쓰시고 계십니다. 또한 silly mistakes에 주의 해주시기를 바랍니다. 그 외에는 글 안에 있는 수정을 봐주시면 될 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |