▶ Your Answer :
The way of interaction and communication is different significantly different from the past. Due to the development of technology, people can interact with each other from different places whenever they want. I believe this phenomenons lead to both good and bad ways. This essay will outline the positive and negative effects and present some types of relationships. To begin with, advanced technology has brought many opportunities of interaction. In the past, people had to send a letter or meet in face to face to communicate with each others. However, people these days can communicate with each other through the internet and even see each other's watching their faces. It is evident that, the limited barrier of distance and space has been destroyed in current society. It made the world closer more closely and it could solve the problems of the interaction of that people missing each others from in different countries as well as increased development of business <(위 내용을 조금 더 summarize 해주시고 이것에 대해 조금 더 elaborate 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다). On the other hand, it also has a negative effects on society. Because of the new interaction, people do not try to meet each other in person face anymore. They usually just stay at home and only rely on relationship through the internet. This phenomenon leads to isolated relationships and make people inhumane. It is clear that people cannot maintain deep healthy relationships through the internet. They only focus on the picture and sentences they uploaded and it could not positively affect positively on their personality or social skills. In addition, it disturbs development of society. People avoid to attend a healthy work field and to increase social business. Overall, development caused much many convenience in communication seemingly. However, it also brought brings many a lot of negative problems phenomenons. For example, as people only stay in their home and only want to interact people through computers, they are have isolated. Thus, it made an inhumane society as well as business field. Score: 6.5 Comment: 질문에 대한 답이 좋다고 생각합니다. 다만 collocation에 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 일부 표현이 잘못 쓰여졌습니다. 또한 시제와 어순에 주의 해주시기를 바랍니다. Past tense를 써주셨다면 continuously past tense로 써주셔야합니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |