Your Answer ▼
It is a common belief that governments should
spend much more amount of money on roads than railways. However, I firmly
believe that they need to spend more money on railways rather than roads (여기의 경우 railway/road 가 연속해서 쓰이므로 former/latter 를 이용해서 대체하는 것도 괜찮은 전략입니다.). This
is because by doing that they can reduce air pollutions and alleviate traffic
jams in their land.
To begin with, generally trains are more
eco-friendly vehicles than cars. This is because trains use electricity, however
cars mainly use fuel energy. (이 문장은 순서를 바꿔주시는 게 좋아요. This is because while cars mainly use~~~ 보통 두 사항이 대비될 때에는, 강조하고자 하는 것을 뒤로 넣는 게 낫습니다.) It means trains are more eco-friendly
transportation than cars. (앞서 했던 말을 반복하는 것에 지나지 않습니다.) So (문장을 and but so 로 시작해서는 안 됩니다.) governments need to encourage people to use more
trains than cars by spending more money on railroads than roads, such as
highway. It leads to a reduction of air pollution in their lands.
On top of that, if people use more trains
than cars, then the traffic congestion would be reduced. As a result commuting
time would be shortened and also the level of people’s stress that they have in
heavy traffic jams would be alleviated. According to the recent survey which was is
conducted by the ministry of transportation Ministry of Transportation in Korea, most Korean working
people expressed their preferences on using subways when they commute in the
morning if there are more subways (노선이 더 추가되면~ 등 구체적으로 적어주세요.). So governments should provide people with incentives
to use trains. That is, they need to use more money for trains than for cars.
To sum up, if governments devote a more portion of
their budget on railways rather than roads, then it leads to the decrease in reduce air
pollution and the level of people’s stress. For these reasons I believe that governments
should spend much more money on railways rather than roads. |