Consumer behavior has changed considerably in recent years due to technology. In what ways does technology affect consumer activities such as shopping? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
The advances in technology for the last decade has changed many aspects of life. People’s behavior toward purchasing products also has been drastically affected by innovative technology drastically. Hence, there exist advantages and disadvantages.
To begin with, when it comes to shopping, more and more people shop online rather than go to brick-and-mortar stores, especially during on lockdown due to a novel virus. Customers are able to search and purchase on-line and receive deliveries in the comfort of their own home, without risking their safety and health. For example, recently I have done the majority of my shopping through on-line platforms such as Amazon or E-bay which I had never have done before. And (문장을 and but so로 시작하는 것은 좋지 않습니다.) I was pleasantly surprised by how the new ways of payment system such as a paypal or a zippay works so qucikly fast and conveniently thanks to the new technology.
On the other hand, there are newly introduced dangers of scam and fraud, which are too convincing not to be fooled. Physically keeping your (2인칭은 구어 축에 속하기 때문에 따로 쓰지 않는다고 보시면 됩니다.) credit card or cash is no longer the answer to avoid the theft anymore. For instance, only by clicking a link included in your text message or a button on the website could result be resulted in a massive loss of fortune, in which one has been worked on for all his or her all their life.
To conclude, astonishing advances in technology have significantly reshaped consumer behavior and has proved beneficial, especially considering the current situation around the world dealing with a global health threat. Even though there are several demerits such as increased chances of fraud or scam, I would have to say that the advantage outweighs the disadvantages. (여기에 대해서는 총평에서 말씀드리겠습니다.)
총평: (6/6/7/6) 6.5
일단 표현상 그렇게 크게 문제는 없기 때문에, task2에서 6.5 정도는 괜찮을 겁니다. 그래도 한 가지에 대해서만 말씀드리자면, 지금 논제에서 묻고 있는 것은 두 가지이기 때문에 이를 각 본론에서 하나씩 다뤄주시면 돼요. 고로 본론2는 Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? 에 관해 말씀해주시면 되겠는데, 현재 본론2는 그러한 질문에 대한 답변이 없이 그저 단점만을 다루고 있습니다. 내 최종 의견인 '장점이 단점을 상쇄한다' 가 본론2에 명확하게 보여지도록 잘 수정해주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)