> > 2009-08-12 10:10:01, '' 님이 쓰신 글입니다. ↓
■ You should spend about 40 minutes on this task ■ Write about the following topic ■ Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience ■ Write at least 250 words | |
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Topic : Robots are becoming more complex and their uses in different industries and in scientific work are becoming more wide spread and necessary. However, there are grave concerns rearding the dangers of extensive use of rototics and its abuse. Do you think robots pose more harm than good? What is your opinion? | adsfas (afsd ) -->좀더 나은표현으로 바꾼것(물론 개인적인 생각)
afsdf ad;kljfa --> 틀린 것이 확실한것
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As modern technology has been developed to the high level, robots, new concepts of machines, came into human life. With regarding to (= Regarding) the effects of robots, there is an ongoing debate whether it is gives (=offers, provides) advantages or not. Some people think robots have replaced human labour and taken away job opportunity from us(human beings) while others insist that robotics kept us(human beings) safe from hazardous working environment and improved the quality of our life by contributing to the development of economy by incresing the rate of production (through production rate improvement). However, I strongly believe that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.
(여기 과거 시제 쓰신 부분 현재 시제가 적합하지 않을까요. 위에 문제도 are becoming이라고 현재시제를 쓰는거 같은데. 로봇이 지금 현재도 쓰이잖아요 ㅎ)
Many people pointed (points out) that robotics have substituted human jobs because they could work more efficiently and effectively. It became harder for people to find a job necessary for supporting their family families. It can cause the crisis of home economy and result in demolish of one's family, if one gets laid off. According to the article about labour issues in modern society, hundreds of jobs from with/of manufacturing factories and contruction fields were rapidly decreased due to robotics. From now on, human, today, have to search for another sort of jobs that cannot be replaced by robots.
On the other hand, there are much more beneficial aspects of robotics. Firstly, human can send robots to dangerous work places wherewhich are filled with toxic chemicals or extremly hot or cold. It could be said that Therefore, human can avoid life threatening works and extend their life safely lives due (thanks) to robotics. Moreover, mass production would not be possible without robots. Since they are capable of working in limited time effectively and efficiently, as the improvement of robotics, production rate has been greatly increased. Consequently, the industry evoloution, the begginning of economy enhancemnt, could be possible. (the state of industry as well as that of economy is to be improved. )
To conclude, the evolution of robotics has affected human life both detrimentally and profitably. Despite of all disadvantages, as I mentioned above, I firmly agree that robot is an inevitable invention sustaining our life safe and rich. (offering opportunities of enriching our lives.) | |
개인적인 생각으로는 매우 잘쓰신 것 같아요:-) 문장력이 뛰어나신듯.ㅎ
저는 아직 토플쪽에서 완전히 아이엘츠로 건너오지 못해서 그런지 찬반 물어보면 다른쪽의견은 아예 진술 안하는 편이에요. 그러면 자기의견이 허약해지니깐 쓰지 말라고 했었거든요 토플 라이팅 배울때는.ㅎ
아이엘츠는 어떤지 잘 모르겠네요. 제가 좀더 모범 답안을 많이 읽어보고 다음에 기회가 되면 얘기해 드릴게요.
화이팅입니다!ㅎㅎ