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The table graph compares illustrates = shows = gives(provides) information on(about) 정도로 어떤 걸 나타내고 있다 정도로만 표현해주세요 the percentages of people both genders using in-flight features using some services and facilities during flights of their business journey in economy class business journey by two age groups in 2002. They are divided into two age groups.
To begin with, It is clear that the most popular feature that travellers used was seat/leg room in both two groups of interviewees. However, there was the least number of passengers of movies and entertainment>> 어떤 그룹에요?. In female group, there was no marked difference between people who were 25 to 45 years old and those were more than 45 years old in the three features that were the seat/leg room, the meals/drinks, and attendant service,>> 콤마 빼주세요 from 26% to 35% in total figures. >> 너무 깁니다 문장 By contrast, the proportion of the young>> 비교급으로 younger가 나을 듯 싶네요 female group using enjoying movies and entertainment and those of the old group >> the older one had the significant gap, 10% and 4 % respectively.
Secondly, over the following man's group, approximately more than 40 percentage of passengers using seat and leg room in the both ages can be relatively a little change in the figures for those of female ones. However, the percentage of people using their service, movies, and entertainment were 14% and 4% respectively that were similar with female's.
보면서 너무 헷갈리네요 읽기 좋게 논리적으로 관련된 것들만 정리되지 않거나, 큰 특징이 아닌 자잘한 부분들까지 언급하면 그렇습니다 지금 이 테스크는 굉장히 쉬운 편이라고 생각합니다 특히 table 들은 수치 비교를 바로 할 수 있기에 몇배다 몇과 몇을 합친게 뭐와 비슷하다 등의 다양한 비교가 될 수 있는데 계속 수치 분석만 해서 기본적인 비교와 나열만 합니다 좀 더 좋은 심화적인 비교를 해주시길 바랍니다 문단은 3개면 충분하고 결론 웬만하면 구성해주세요 문장 구조들이 단순하고 이해하기 어렵게 작성된 것들도 있었습니다 단어들도 보시면 굉장히 제한적입니다
Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
5.0 예상합니다 |