▶ Your Answer :
The graph elucidates the comparison of
water supplied in urban and rural areas of Egypt and Africa in a percentages in between
1990 and 2000.
Overall, the more of water had been supplied to
Egypt than that of to Africa. It is interesting to note that, there was a dominant
water supply in urban areas than that of rural areas in Africa. <Need better coherence/cohesion> About half of
water had been totally supplied to Africa in 1990 which increased by 5% in 2000
whereas Egypt rose by 1% from 94% of total water supplies in 1990. In detail, urbanized areas had been
supplied with more water than that of rural areas regardless of countries. In
1990, African urban areas received 84% of water whereas rural areas received
44%. Concurrently, Egyptian urban areas received 97% of water whereas rural
areas had 91% water supplies.
By 2000, this water supply increased substantially
in rural areas. The rural areas water received 47% in Africa and 94% in Egypt, which the proportion increased by 3% from the data indication in 1900’s water supply. Meanwhile,
the water supply in urban areas rose by 1% for Africa to reach at 85% whereas
Egyptian urban area declined its water supply by 1% at 96%.
Score: 7.5 Comment: 잘 정리를 해서 전달을 해주셨습니다. Silly mistakes에만 주의를 해주시면 될 것 같습니다. 또한 그래프는 1990년도와 2000년도의 data만 주고 있습니다. Between 이라는 표현은 그 사이 라는 의미가 있기 때문에 between 보다는 in year and year라고 해주시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |