▶ Your Answer :
There is no doubt that people are living in convenient life since the
introduction of wheels and then development of cars. With regard to with regards this issue
some people may insist that a having a car can be brought bring about some negative
effects in spite of it has its numerous positive aspects. Therefore, I i agree with
this contention as it has detrimental influence influenced towards people who use the car
in real life.
It is true that there are a great number of crimes with the car
such as drinking driving, sleeping driving, over speeding driving and many thus the
majority number of died people die are accounted by car accidents. In addition,
this phenomenon leads juvenile to act as copycats crime as driving without car
license and drinking driving at night. 자동차 관련 범죄가 많아서 사망자가 나와서 젊은이들이 이를 따라한다는 연결은 논리가 맞지 않습니다. Furthermore, the car can be a burden for
people who work for peanuts because having a car is an indispensable products in daily
life. Therefore, they have to take responsible to fill the fuel and
replace some components for car operation which are often enormous expensive
than for their budgets.
On top of this, the environment is are affected by the a massive number of cars
because when cars are car is running on the road, the gas emissions are spread out into
the air and it is accompanied with the air pollution. In according According to a survey
conducted in Korea last year, the standard families who live in a major city,
they were having at least 2 or 3 cars. For this reason, in terms of living in
skyscrapers complex can be more deteriorated deteriorate the health of residents because
that almost most of buildings complex are is placed in the vicinity of highways and roads thus car exhausts are already in there. as well as Also,
this trend makes trends make city is more complicated and occur causes lots of traffic jams.
To In conclusion, it is clear that the having cars brings carry out many benefits for people but it has more negative effects as the
disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Ii would suggest that the government
should have establish a law and citizens have to observe the law either.
IELTS 1-9 score scale score: 5 modest user
문법오류가 많습니다. 수일치, 전치사 사용 등을 더 신경써주세요. 논리 연결이 매끄럽지 않은 부분들도 많습니다. 개인적 측면의 여러 단점, 환경측면의 단점을 제시한 것은 좋지만 논리 연결이 어색한 부분들은 감점요인이 되므로 유의해야 합니다. 수고하셨습니다!
아이엘츠 라이팅 채점기준 참고하세요 - TA/TR(Task Achievement/Task Response) 문제에 정확히 답변, 적정 분량 - CC(Coherence and Cohesion) 일관성, 응집성 - LR(Lexical Resource) 다양한 어휘표현 - GR(Grammartical Range and Accuracy) 문법 다양성, 정확성 |