▶ Your Answer :
The bar chart describes the total expenditure of money on six diverse items which is utilized by four nations, Germany, Italy, Britain and France.
However, Overall, the overall graph trend reveals Britishers like to spend a significant amount of sterling on all consumer goods whereas other countries deplete less.
Distinctly, the chart figures demonstrate that, the three lavish items such as toys, photographic films and CD’s are the most optimal products in European nations. Therefore, majority of Britain residents spent £175 thousand on photographic films and toys, which, is the exclusively highest amount of consumption. Secondly, Germany is the second territory that, spent £165,000 to consume photographic films respectively., while, the utilization of toys and CD’s in Germany is steady by £ 155000 comprehensively. <(False/Germany가 아닌 France의 정보를 전달해주시고 계십낟) Furthermore, by comparing France and Italy <(so what? incomplete). The French people spent the least cash on personal stereos, tennis racquets and perfume which is 150000 pounds approximately. However Although, the toys and CD’s in France gradually increased by 159000 pounds persistently.<(unclear) By contrast, the Italy's outlay on buying personal stereos, and tennis racquets, CD’s and perfume slightly fluctuate by 1%. <(unclear) However, their trade in toys and photographic films are sustainable by 155000 approximately. <(왜 gradually increase/fluctuate라는 표현을 쓰시는지 모르겠습니다. 정보는 나라별로 연도에 따른 increase/decrease in consumption의 그래프가 아니라 그냥 하나의 연도의 consumption을 전달해주고 있습니다) In short, the date of graph reckons a considerable spending on entertainment goods in four European regions.<(repetitive)
Score: 5.5 Comment: 정보를 잘 전달해주시고 계시지 않습니다. 전달해주시는 정보가 inaccurate합니다. 나라를 잘못 전달을 해주시거나 알맞지 않는 표현을 써주셔서 무엇을 전달하고자 하는지 clear하지 않습니다. 쓰시는 표현과 accuracy에 조금 더 신경을 써주시기를 바랍니다. 문법상 punctuation/시제/word form/에 주로 틀리시고 계십니다. 수고 하셨습니다.
|