새로운 유형의 글이에요 그래서 사전에 책보고 연습해보고 처음 써봐요..
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In many countries, traditional customs have disappeared.
What do you thin are the causes of this and what measures could be taken to solve them?
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Ancestral rites and practices are rapidly disappearing in most nations around the world. There are a variety of possible reasons for this, but governments, society and parents could certainly (여기에 동사 하나가 들어가야겠죠.) steps to address this issue.
In my opinion, three main factors are able to be blamed for the demise of traditional customs in my countries. Firstly, lack of influence of parents in upholding traditions can be a cause. As generations pass, fewer customs are passed, and nowadays, upholding traditions and customs in the home through teaching children is no longer a priority of parents. Secondly, excessive inflow of western cultures, which makes many people try to fit in with the trend of western culture rather than keeping traditions and customs. Finally, many young people do not choose to learn difficult traditional customs culture. This is because young people tend to like simple things.
Traditional customs can certainly be revived. I believe that parents should exert their authority and teach their children about old customs through practice at home hoe. Parents should accept that their children are growing up in a different world, and they must find ways to insert traditions they would like their children to embrace. Also, government should refrain from excessive inflow of western culture by laws in order to keep ancestral rites and practices. At the same time, society needs simplification of difficult traditional customs and prepare programs to educate them.
In conclusion, We we will continue to face the loss of traditional customs and its problems unless parents, government and community make an effort to revive disappearing traditions and customs. (가급적이면 원인과 해결책에 대한 조금 더 구체적인 요약을 해주시는 게 좋습니다. 물론 6.0에서 크게 중요한 사항은 아니지만요.)
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소요시간 47분 걸렸어요. 한글로 생각나는 말을 영어문장으로 만드는대 시간이 항상 많이 걸리는것 같아요.
두문장 번역기를 썻어요...(아무리 생각이 나지 않았어요..)
총평: (7/7/7/6) 7.0
잘 써주셨습니다. 물론, 이 글이 7점이라고 지금 당장 실제 시험에서 7점 받을 확률은 거의 없을 겁니다. 말씀하셨듯이 시간 문제와 번역기 관련 문제 때문에 여기서 떨어질테고요. 하지만 그렇다고 막 5점대로 폭락할 일은 없을 겁니다.
어휘 문법에 너무 집착하실 필요 없고, 조금 틀려도 되니까 시간은 꼭 줄여주셔야해요. 절대로 task 1/2 둘 중 하나라도 미완성이 된 상태로 제출하는 일이 없도록 주의해주시고, audxogud님 영어 실력은 충분히 좋으시니까, 자신감을 갖고 작성하세요ㅎㅎ
수고하셨습니다 :)