Some people believe that the costs of space exploration are worth it,
but others believe that space exploration is a waste of money.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of space research.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There is controversial discussion whether the expense for exploring space is worthy or not. Space exploration is very important to develop not only something for astronomy but also people's lives on the Earth, which makes a huge expenditure on it worthy. However, this big fortune to invest it can be used as another way to solve immediate problems we face now.
First of all, the most beneficial thing to spend money for space exploration is that this investment leads our lives to be more convenient than we expected. Through the process of space exploration, we human beings can meet the useful technology and invention that we haven't (줄임말은 풀어서 작성해주세요!) experienced and planned before. For example, satellites that were invented to study other planets and comets serve GPS in numerous cars and mobile phone nowadays, This is are the results of long-term investment to space exploration.
However, there is an ironic situation that it (문단에 처음 등장하는 대상은 대명사로 작성해선 안 됩니다.) brings the easy life to some people, not all of humans on the Earth. While big fortunate flows into space from the Earth, this money is unlikely to help whoever in need. For example, people in certain countries still starve to death or are exposed to the endless war. Much less money than the huge costs of space exploration can be dramatically helpful to change their lives. It is very clear that saving people's lives is more valuable than any other thing in the world although it is the investment for future plan like space exploration.
Therefore, it is undeniable that helping people in need through the donation and spending money to explore the secrets of space are both worthy enough. Thus, the endeavor to control the balance of expenditure between these is necessary.
총평: (6/7/7/7) 7.0
다른 부분이 워낙 깔끔해서 결론에서 치명적인 문제가 있음에도 불구하고 task 2 자체는 7점에 어찌어찌 맞춰지겠지만, 전 수험생이 공통으로 task 1에서 까이는 것을 고려했을 때 task 2에서 지금보다는 더 벌어놓으시는 게 안전합니다.
글을 작성할 때, 철저히 논제가 시키는 것만 할 수 있어야합니다. 현재 논제는 우주개발의 장단점을 논하라고 되어있죠. 그러면 딱 그것만 적으면 되는데, 지금의 결론에서와 같이 내가 스스로 제언을 하는 것은 절대 안 됩니다. 법에 비유하자면, 마치 재판에서 판사가 법을 근거로 판결을 내리는데 원고/피고 또는 피고인이 역으로 '헤이 판사님, 이렇게 하는 게 어때?' 라고 적반하장의 모습을 보이는 것이랑 비슷하다고 보시면 돼요. 현 결론도 그냥 우주개발의 장단점만 적고 넘어가시면 되니까, 절대 권한 밖의 내용을 작성하지 마세요~수고하셨습니다 :)
1. 목표점수: 7.0 2. 다음 시험 예정 날짜:2월말~3월초
3. 이전에 시험을 치렀을 경우 그때의 점수: 6.5
4. 시간내에 작성 O 외부도움X