■ DirectionYou have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words.■ QuestionSummarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading

Topic ▼

The Internet and television are giving more opportunities for the average person to become famous. Is it a positive or negative development?

Your Answer ▼

I think It it is a negative develpment that the Internet and television are giving more opportunities for the average person to become famous.

(제가 나눠드린 것처럼, 엔터는 두 번 쳐주셔야 합니다. 이것도 점수에 들어가므로 주의해주세요!)

First of all, they (문단에 처음 등장하는 대상이 대명사로 쓰여서는 안 됩니다.) are having bad effects especially on children. I am a elemantary teacher and see my students behave extraordinarily to look show themselves as famous. When I asked why they did such do the behaviors, they told me they wanted to be famous like the YouTubers youtubers they saw on the Internet. Since children are too senseless to differentiate between what is right and wrong, they just imitate things to become famous.

Also, people think a lot of strange themes just to become famous. Too many influencers on the Internet and television use raucous concepts and watchers come to be accustomed to them and force them to become more have the concepts. (여기는 어떤 의미로 적어주셨나요? 댓글 주시면 확인하고 수정해드리겠습니다.) When the influencers don't (줄임말은 풀어써주셔야 합니다.) know their aims and what to do next after being famous, they are just worried that money they earned through the media is gone and consider having more exciting subjects to viewers.

For these reasons, I think the Internet and television bring a are having negative development for giving more opportunities for the average person to become famous. (본론에 언급된 두 개의 이유에 대한 요약이 들어가야 합니다.)

Comment ▼
6.0이긴 한데, 앤터만 잘 쳐주시고 자잘한 부분들만 살짝 수정되거나, 결론에서 본론 요약만 잘 될 경우, 어휘가 깔끔하기 때문에 6.5까지는 바라볼 수 있을 겁니다.

대신 특히 결론에 있어서는 매우 중요하니까, 본론의 두 근거를 깔끔하게 요약해주세요~수고하셨습니다 :)