Some people think that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, think that life for elderly in the modern world is much better than it was in the past.
Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some people insist that it is getting bad to live as an old person in today's world people's view about the elderly who are living in the modern world has been getting bad. However, others argue that the recent world is a more comfortable to live as an elderly. This essay will deal with both views and I will suggest my opinion in at the conclusion.
In fact, many young men (특별한 사정이 있지 않는 한 하나의 성별로만 작성해서는 안 됩니다.) do not respect and care the elderly anymore. This is because, the elderly can not work. In other words, they are being garbage resources. Of course, this view of the young is inappropriate, but in the capitalism society, it is unfortunately true that they are not helpful to the young unfortunately. Moreover, the young are not satisfied with do not satisfy that the government's aid to the poor elderly by using taxes as those taxes were collected mostly from themselves nearly the young. Those two reasons are why the young these days hate the elderly and because of their phobia, the elderly in the modern world feel living as something difficulty.
Nevertheless, the world nowadays is an optimum place to live as the elderly. Unlike the elderly in the past, recently, they can enjoy non-profit social services. For example, they can get some medicines cheaply when they get diseases and even take a surgery for nearly zero cost to approximately free due to medical insurance for the elderly. Owing to medical system, the elderly (의식하셨을지 모르겠지만 이 단어 지금 너무 과하게 반복되고 있습니다.) can live more than the past and thanks to increasing life. They can enjoy their midnight life with their precious grandchildren. Thus, the recent world is a suitable place to live well as the elderly.
To conclude, those two arguments were persuasive. Nevertheless, I support the argument that the modern world is better to live than the past as the elderly, since they can live their life entire comfortably thanks to the government's subsidies and health care service. I just hope that the young can calibrate their attitudes about the elderly properly.
총평: (7/7/6/6) 6.5
내용상 크게 문제는 없었고, 대신 이전 글들과 마찬가지로 표현 쪽에서 조금 더 끌어올리셔야 합니다. 문법+어휘 공부가 고되겠지만, 그래도 높은 점수를 목표로하시는만큼 반드시 이걸 잡을 수 있어야 해요. bddt님보다 문법이 더 약하던 학생들도 꾸준히 문법을 공부하면서 끌어올린 전례가 많으니까, bddt님도 충분히 하실 수 있습니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)