Some
believe that the number of cars operating in the city should be limited to a
certain number as they cause many problems. To what extent do you agree or
disagree.
It is true that the number of cars into the
urban area, which should be make many drawbacks. Therefore, many people are trying to find a way to
limit the number of cars which enters into the city.
limit personal cars number and will analyse both views. I also believe that cities should limit the number of personal cars.
To begin with, recent day a lot of people
use private car for their convenient life styles. It is comfortable that the
personal vehicles, which can transport, move luggage and travel with someone.
In addition, a luxury car means owner’s success. since many people spend money
to purchase a personal car as luxury as possible. To illustrate, a survey shown
that over 80 percent private car owners in Korea spend more 20 percent their
income to buy their car. (이 문단의 경우는 총평에서 설명드리겠습니다.)
However, in my opinion, people will should reduce the use of their own car then more and more and make more use of the public transportation. First of all,
vehicles which many people owning own have had numerous problems in heart of the
cities. There is enormous traffic congestion in the urban area, which is making
a lot of social cost. Moreover, a large number of cars which are made for many
years ago make enormous emission that harmfully affects citizens. Last but not least last but least,
a private car makes people spend much money, which leads people to fall into debt relate to use a loan.
Nowadays a majority of companies which produce a car suggest to use credit.
Therefore, a lot of young people have made their credit card for to purchase their
luxury private car, which will be their dump.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that the
government should be limit the number of cars which are to a certain number of car which booked in the city.
총평: (5/5/6/4) 5.0
대비되는 두 가지의 사항이 있다고 해서 무조건 둘 다 다루는 것이 아니라, 논제의 발문(여기의 경우 to what extent do you agree or disagree 부분)이 요구하는 바에 따라 적절히 맞춰갈 수 있어야 합니다.
지금 본론1의 경우도 개인 차가 제한되어야 하는 이유로만 적어주시면 되고, 자세한 내용은 밑의 링크에 설명되어있으니 참고해주세요!
또한 지금 문법 오류가 꽤나 많은 편입니다. 5.5이상이 무조건 필요하시다면 글을 쓰는 것과는 별개로 꼭 문법에 대한 학습도 해주세요~
수고하셨습니다 :)
https://www.gohackers.com/?c=ielts/ielts_info2/ielts_method&p=3&type=url&uid=471212