Nowadays many people choose to be
self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? |
|||
These
days, a lot of people are fond of having their own business and focusing on
the upsides of self-employment. However, there are arguments against those
people’s viewpoints in which a small business usually creates several risks. In
this essay, the advantages and drawbacks of running a self-business will be discussed.
Some
people feel that being self-employed has immense benefits. First of all, owners
are able to make their decision not only progressively but also expeditely (크게 차이가 있는 건 아닌데, expeditiously 이게 조금 더 자연스럽게 쓰이긴 합니다. 그냥 참고 정도만 해주세요~) as
they indulge to take risks to expand their business. For example, there is one
of the largest companies in the world, so-called ‘Virgin Empire’. When he (앞 문장에서는 회사 얘기를 하다가 갑자기 he 가 나오므로 통일이 안 된 상태입니다. 꽁치님 실력을 고려했을 때 단순 실수일테니, 이 부분은 수정 후 댓글로 검사 받으세요~) embarked
to the industry as an owner of the Virgin Record, ran his business as well as
collaborated with other companies aggressively. Now, he has hug companies, including
‘Virgin Atlantic’, ‘Virgin Media’ and ‘Virgin Australia’ and so on. In his
memoir, he said the key factor of his success in the business was
However,
To condense,
although self-employment has a lot of benefits such as flexibilities in business,
it also has the downsides owing to big companies’ tremendous connections,
manifold workers and the business know-how. Therefore, they may conquer the industries which
small companies’ owners contribute to. |
|||
[ 440 words] |
|||
Grammar |
Vocabulary |
Cohesion and Coherence |
Task Response |
8/9.0 |
8/9.0 |
7/9.0 |
8/9.0 |
감사합니다.
총평: 잘 써주셨습니다. 본론 첫 번째 문단 초반부에 제가 표시해드린 부분만 살짝 봐주세요~저런 류의 통일 문제는 은근히 자주 나오니까 실제 시험을 치르실 때에는 더더욱 주의해주셔야 합니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)