Your Answer ▼
Nowadays, since travelling worldwide became
accessible in this multifaceted society, people are willing to visit countries
to be aware of a range of cultures while others insist to gain such experience
through media platforms. Personally, I believe that travelling abroad cannot be
substituted by media contents.
Some people think that without the
necessity to travel aboard, people can learn foreign cultures from accessing
books or online contents. However, the media is not always an effective tool
for cultural education since films or books often shows only positive attributes
and customs of a place, resulting biased information. As each individual perceive the world in a different way,
not having to experience the country first-hand can lead to having a prejudice
of certain culture of a country.
Hence, I strongly disagree that other
accessible online sources can completely replace the experience of visiting a
different country as a tourist. By given an opportunity to be a traveler of a
foreign country, people can vividly embrace the whole aspects of the culture.
For example, an array of religious gatherings with flavoursome dishes cannot be
relatable via media unless people make a visit. Additionally, frequent cultural
interaction by travelling abroad propels towards an open-minded society.
Compared to the limited media contents, acknowledging numerous cultures after
travelling provides an opportunity for people as a whole to gain and understand
a wider range of perspectives about the world.
To conclude, what travelling brings are a myriad
experience about the culture beyond just reading books or watching television
series and an ability to be more open-minded. Thus, I believe physical presence
cannot match the virtual information.
지난번 썼던 에세이가 생각보다 잘 나오지 않은 것 같아 양을 줄이면서 같은 주제로 한번 더 다시 써봤습니다. 지금까지 항상 agree vs disagree 문제는 주장에 항상 밸런스를 뒀었는데, 한 주장으로 가야한다는 코멘트를 받아 저도 어떻게 해야하나 고민이 많았습니다. 그래서 body 1은 미디어의 단점 그리고 body 2 는 미디어와 비교했을때 여행의 장점을 써보려고 노력했는데, 맞게 썼을까 싶어 다시 코멘트 받은 그대로 써봤습니다. 이렇게 쓰는게 맞을까요?
항상 도움되는 코멘트 감사합니다. (이번 에세이는 시간을 설정하지 않았지만 대략 쓰는데 10-15분 걸린 것 같습니다)
목표 점수: 7 |