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It has suggested that a child should be fostered by in competition. Others believe that a child should be instructed to cooperate with young people and it is better than antagonizing >> 타동사이므로 목적어가 필요합니다 someone between a skillful adults. These arguments have pros and cons given for a several views.
To begin with, pupils should be learned by a variety of rivals who compete to achieve a specific goal. A diversity of experiences bring about practical skills and knowledge that may affect a good success for down the road. To give an example, in primary or secondary school, a myriad of children have to develop the ability to comprehend and take a sense of competition from opponents who are schoolchildren in school or other young people. As a result, children may absorb various experiences in order to be more mature.
On the other hand, there are against these arguments that a child should be learned how to collaborate with friends in the absence of competition with people. Young children may savvy >> savvy는 격식있는 말이 아닙니다 informal 한 단어이므로 아카데믹한 라이팅에선 쓰지 않는게 좋습니다 about a wide range of activities in socializing with people, before having competition with schoolchildren >> classmates or others. Children are still too young to comprehend recent social lives which is a complicated environment. Moreover, they may reach the limitation of pinnacle >> peak of a limitation pinnacle은 명성이나 권위가 절정에 다다랐을 때가 더 어울리는 표현입니다, if they compete each other. >> 아이들은 너무 어려서 최근 사회의 복잡한 환경의 삶을 이해하기 힘들다 게다가 그들은 서로 경쟁한다면 한계의 절정에 다다른다 - 너무 모호한 듯 싶네요 어떤 한계에 다다르는지 말해주셔야 합니다
I personally think that, these viewpoints may be mutually concerned mutually by children. They come to ameliorate a informative knowledge from school which provides for helpful cooperative relationships between pupils. They should improve basal and verbal communication of an activity with friends.
이번엔 글 형식이 조금 바뀌어서 작성하셨네요 그래도 이번에 단어 선택은 괜찮다고 보여집니다 저도 사실 처음 보는 단어가 나왔네요 하지만 문법적인 실수나 에세이 성격상 맞지 않는 단어가 나왔습니다 잘 봐주세요
Task Achievement - 7 Coherence and Cohesion - 7 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6
6.5 예상합니다
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