▶ Your Answer :
Agricultural and livestock industries have been developed
through the centuries, and it led to enormous crops. Yet, as the betterment of
living standards, people's demands on groceries were >> soar는 자동사로 수동태로 쓰지 않습니다 also soared. Regarding to
diminution of exportation of food resources, I disagree with that opinion because
the matter of trade can be directed to a national economy.
To begin with, the advent of industrialization and
mechanization bring about progresses of many other fields - farming, livestock,
manufacturing, etc >> 나열의 마지막은 and가 와야합니다 또한 etc는 준말이므로 and so on 을 써주시길 바랍니다. Workers could obtain high yields with the minimum of
efforts, and also it is sufficient to cover domestic member's requirement.
Occasionally, the remains>> remains는 화석이라는 뜻입니다 of crops even cause disposal problems>> 어떤 문제를 어떻게 발생시키나요?. Secondly,
through the improvement of conditions of life, people are beginning to highly
concern a food's quality, not that of quantity. Since they value health amongst
everything else, the amount of groceries is not an important affair anymore. Thirdly, it should be cautiously>> 동사 다음 부사가 나와야합니다 treated cautiously in terms of the issues
of importing and exporting. Restricting of exportation could give a rise to lower
earnings of foreign currencies, and it is clear to have negative effects on a
domestic commerce. Unless the trading business is not vitalized, the country
cannot secure enough victualages at a low price and it can even influence on
the market prices.
To sum up, although the appetite was a one of the basic
needs of human, it has amply been covered amply by the growth of industrialization.
However, as the alterations of social members' desires and economic trends, the
tasks of trade in relation to foodstuff ought to be prudently pondered prudently.
단어가 좋았고 진행도 좋았습니다 곳곳에 단수 복수 형태의 문법 오류가 있네요 그래도 서론 결론의 구성은 괜찮았지만 서론 본론에서 얼마나 동의를 하는 지에 대해서 직접적으로 한 번은 언급할 필요가 있다고 봅니다 agree를 사용해서 본론에 논리에서 부족한 부분이 있었지만 다른 곳에서 잘 채워줬습니다 수고하셨습니다
Task Achievement - 7 Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 7 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6
6.5 예상합니다 |