▶ Your Answer : These days, children spend almost most of their time to do homework. Although I believe that homework is necessary for children, I also think leisure time could be reduced stress on them. Children having leisure time can release stress, after then they can concentrate on their study. Leisure time, specially outdoor activity, is good for young people. If they do not properly exercise properly, they would will >> if절의 동사가 현재면 주절의 조동사도 현재가 와야 합니다 suffer from diseases like such as obesity and diabetes. Sometimes, it can develop a children’s socialization from relationship with their own age's friends. For example, by playing soccer they cooperate each other and learn how to win the game by playing soccer>> 문장 앞으로 나가면 앞 뒤를 콤마로 표시해줘야 합니다 . It could be get an effective interaction at school. Also >> also so but and or 는 문두에 쓰지 못합니다, It is important to get get 동사는 좋지 않습니다 gain 혹은 acquire 등을 써주시는게 좋습니다 various experiences during formative years. They can develop their aptitudes through leisure activities.
However, homework is plays a significant role to children’s education. Kids doing homework can realize things that they missed in class and remind something one more time, and it can be memorized for a long time. Moreover, if children who skipped frequently their homework frequently, they could cannot keep up with others.>> if 절 동사 현재 -> 주절 조동사 현재 가 성립됩니다 To sum up, I would argue that the balance between homework and leisure time>> that이라면 완전한 절이 나와야 합니다 because for growing children, homework is important and leisure time also does not be overlooked growing children. Therefore, appropriate divisions of time can prevent kids from getting being under stress.
스타일 상 오류가 있습니다 문장들이 모호한 부분들이 있습니다 완전한 절이 나와야 하는데 동사가 없던가 하는 일이 있습니다 수식, 동사 사용 등 유심히 봐주시길 바랍니다 빨간 부분들 봐주세요 Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5 5.5 예상합니다 |