▶ Your Answer :
Convenience foods have been welcomed by our
society, so some people insist that convenience foods will replace traditional
foods in the end. However, in my opinion, convenience foods will not be able to fully replace fully traditional foods' position.
(Need better transition)
Convenience foods are very easy to be
cooked, or they even sometimes do not be required to be cooked. As a result,
many people have been consuming convenience foods in a busy modern society.
Indeed, various types of convenience foods are easily observed in everywhere. <(not really necessary. 이 문단의 내용과 다음 문단을 하나의 문단으로 summarize해주시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다.)
Nonetheless, convenience foods cannot
follow traditional foods' original taste, and most people do not eat foods only
for being full, but also for enjoying delicious taste. For example, people
still prefer traditional foods to convenience foods when they have enough time
or hold important events, such as birthdays or anniversary parties, because
traditional foods' delicious taste can make those parties more colorful and
memorable. Hence, traditional methods of food preparation will be lasted unless
people give up enjoying yummy tastes which is hardly happens.
Moreover, people would have more enough
time to cook in the future because of development of technology. If people can
have more free time, convenience foods will lose one of its biggest strengths
that can save time. Many people have chosen convenience foods over traditional
foods because of a lack of their time. However, they will enjoy traditional
foods when they can have enough free time to experience delicious foods.
In conclusion, although convenience foods
have their own strengths, they will not be able to wholly substitute wholly traditional
foods' status.
Score: 6.5 Comment: 질문에 대한 답이 좋다고 생각합니다. 다면 내용과 글 정리를 조금 더 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 문법상 주로 부사와 동사에 틀리시고 계십니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |