▶ Your Answer :
It is a fact that, riding a bicycle can
improve individual’s health and that it also can be beneficial for the environment as
there are no gas emissions from a bicycle. Despite all its benefits, some
places are not popular with cycling due to several reasons, but mainly for the
insufficient facilities, which can be solved by several solutions by the
government.
There are several reasons that could
demotivate people from cycling. <(which are?) Despite these several reasons, insufficient
facilities are the main reason to be considered. Firstly, bicycle lanes have
not been installed enough in the world to create convenience for the riders. Without
these lanes, people have no choice to but either stop cycling or use of vehicle
lanes. In addition, relevant services such as emergency centres, air pump,
extra tires or any tool kits are not available so that could cause inconvenience
for the riders. Since cyclists have to carry spare equipment for any emergency
cases, that can discourage people to ride a bicycle. Therefore, all these
inconveniences riding a bicycle lead to unpopularity in cycling.
To solve this inconvenience, the government
could provide a facility suitable for each cause. To start with, the provision
of cycling lanes in the local area could encourage the local citizens to ride a
bicycle. Furthermore, the convenient facilities could be placed around the
bicycle lanes to support the need for the riders. Those facilities could stop
the riders from carrying all the necessary kits so that makes easier for the
cyclists to ride a bicycle. In the case of Chang Mai City, since the local
government have installed of all relevant facilities for cyclists around the
bicycle lanes, there is an increasing the usage of bicycles by for the local
citizens for their everyday activities. Therefore, the number of solutions can
tackle each cause by providing the convenience for the riders to increase
cycling activities. <(what kind of 'convenient facilities'? be specific)
In conclusion, although there are several
reasons that could cause unpopularity in riding a bicycle, the foremost reason
is that, there are not enough bicycle lanes around the world. Therefore, with
the government’s support in cyclists’ convenience, (what will increase the motivation?) will increase the
motivation.
Score: 6.5 Comment: 잘 서술해주셨습니다. 질문에 대한 답이 좋다고 생각합니다. 내용을 조금 summarize해주시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다. 글자수가 300이 넘으며 조금 wordy하게 들리는 경우가 있습니다. 또한 specificity/coherence에 신경을 조금 더 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 그 외에는 주로 글 안에 있는 코멘트나 수정을 봐주시면 될 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |