▶ Your Answer : People have different views about whether or not animals rights should be taken <(unclear/taken how?) as they have the same rights as humans. In my view, animals should be treated as humans because they also live biologically as us. There are some reasons why people use animals to indulge their needs. Firstly, animals can be used to do important scientific research. Scientists do medical tests, thereby helping to advance medical and scientific knowledge, and it has already been discovered that many important findings involved experimentation on animals. Secondly, we can stay balanced nutritionally by eating meat which comes from animals, and in many countries, certain meat have been regarded as their traditional food. Finally, there are many zoos a lot of zoo in the world and, by training animals such as dolphins, seals, or orangutans, zoos can showcase to offer special services so that they can make people enjoy. However, I believe that all those all benefits above have the prices that animals must suffer. Even though medical improvement can be confirmed by experiments on them, it does not justify the pain which animals would have. Humans have no sympathy about testing on animals only in order to attain their achievement, and of course all studies and experiments are not always successful, so they could make animals the not live properly or are more likely kill them. Furthermore, animals in the zoos have to go through a damaging process while they are trained. For example, it has been thought that zookeepers often abuse seals and dolphins by hitting them and prohibiting them from eating when they animals are not obedient. In addition, hunters catch a large number of animals for so as to leather, and it that must have hurt them. In conclusion, people tend to use animals to achieve their goals, but I believe that they must have the same rights as humans.
Score: 7.5 Comment: 두 관점을 잘 discuss 해주셨습니다. 문법에 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 어색하게 들리는 곳도 일부분 있습니다. 어순/전치사 collocation/문장구조/plurality/에 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |