▶ Your Answer : We can observe easily that governments and people are investing huge amounts of money on celebrating national holidays like New Year's Eve. In my opinion, this huge investment cannot be a waste of money due to the several reasons that are hidden behind.
Firstly, celebration itself is worth for spending our money. In the individual level, we spend our money on something whether it is for practical reasons or for leisure. Thus, spending money on national celebration can be understood as our choices. Additionally, if we can gain pleasure and happiness from that investment, we do not call it just a waste of money.
Secondly, money never vanishes. For example, it is easy to guess that our money on national holiday's fireworks are just gone away like how the fireworks which last only for a short time, but it is wrong. Our money on fireworks flows from our pocket to the chemistry company that is producing and managing fireworks. Money will circulate through our entire economy even though we cannot easily detect it unlike the major research and development investments.
Lastly, national celebration itself has its own meaning. In terms of the Independence Day, the reason we still remember it is, we did do not forget why we have colonized, how we have overcomed it, and what kinds of sacrifices we had to face for bringing the prosperity that we are ensuring now. By investing huge amounts of money on making videos, holding celebration parties, decorating cities with national flags, we can remember the reason for the hardworking in every area of our society, and find very practical reasons for maintaining our society to be safe and secure. These kinds of things cannot be done easily with another way.
In conclusion, spending money on national celebrations should not be devalued as mere waste of money. It is our choice that brings happiness, and investment to our entire economy, and a way of improving social integration that cannot be replaced.
Score: 6.5 Comment: 글쓴이의 주장을 잘 support 해주셨습니다. 이유들이 아주 좋다고 생각합니다. 다만 spelling mistakes가 너무 많습니다. Spelling에 주의를 해주시고 공부를 더 하시는 것을 추천합니다. 또한 고유명사는 꼭 대문자로 시작해주셔야합니다. 문법상 collocation/전치사 활용/plurality/에 조금 더 신겨을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |