▶ Your Answer : There is no doubt that by increasing the cost of petrol can be a decent solution to for prevent pollution issues and the growing the number of cars. However, i<-대문자 disagree with this contention as the price of petrol has to be went up for decreasing the massive of car using as it has negative impacts towards citizens. Therefore, to stop this phenomenon, the government need to take prompt action. It is true that a way to increase the cost of petrol cannot solve the traffic and pollution issues be solved exactlybecause it is not a priority against this situation. For instance, If when the price of petrol was surged significantly, some car companies company can make an alternative way to manufacture an electric car for a proper solution. In addition, the increasing price can be accompanied with some side effects towards citizens such as they have to pay more fees when they want to use the for transports because of that systems were always moved using with petrol. 중간에 기업이 대안으로 전기자동차를 만들 거라는 이야기는 주제를 벗어납니다. 대중교통 요금인상으로 사람들이 불편을 겪을 거라는 이야기도 '환경문제와 교통혼잡문제 해소'와는 관련이 없습니다. On the other hand, the government need to establish a law to for prevent environment issues and people. Furthermore, the government make a law as people should have used to regulate time for using one's their own car at maximum 4 times a week and the rest of days they cannot use it. According to a survey conducted in Korea last year, the state applied a law as i<-대문자 mentioned above, that led people to use public transports or bicycles instead of using use their own car and also the environment problem was improved continually. Besides, the state needs to make the fee of transports to be reduced then this can be brought lead people to take public transport more than before. To conclude, it is clear that the high cost of petrol can be a right solution but it is not sufficient method for to inhibit both phenomena phenomenon of rising traffic and environment issues. Therefore, the government have to consider about that and make an a appropriate solution.
IELTS 1-9 score scale score: 4.5 limited user
수량표현, 품사 오류 조심해주세요. petrol가격을 인상하는 것이 효과적인 해결책이 되는지 묻는 질문에서 방향이 맞지 않는 내용들이 있으니 걸러주세요. 논점을 벗어난 글은 큰 감점요인이 됩니다. 정확하게 내용 전달이 될 수 있게 문법, 단어 사용에 유의해주세요. 수고하셨습니다!
아이엘츠 라이팅 채점기준 참고하세요 - TA/TR(Task Achievement/Task Response) 문제에 정확히 답변, 적정 분량 - CC(Coherence and Cohesion) 일관성, 응집성 - LR(Lexical Resource) 다양한 어휘표현 - GR(Grammartical Range and Accuracy) 문법 다양성, 정확성 |