▶ Your Answer :
The bar graph represents the value of
imports and exports occurred in Canada since 1991 until 1995.
It is apparent that, the value of imports
and exports increased substantially, but the imports value increasing rate was
more than that of exports.
Initially, the value of imports recorded at
$8000 whereas around the half of those values was dedicated to exports. The value of
both imports and exports rose by about $1000 per year. After a year, the value of
imports reached at $9000, which was increased by $1000, while the exports' export’s
value rose by $1000 to reach at close to $5000. This increasing rate continued
to reach at approximately $10,000 for imports and $6000 for exports by 1993.
In 1994, the value of imports grew
drastically by around $2,000 to reach at close to $12,000. Meanwhile, the value
for exports increased steadily by $1000 per year which value for 1994, thus
recorded at about $9000. 8천 이하를 기록하고 있고, 1000달러보다는 증가치가 커 보입니다. 부정확한 묘사는 감점요인이 될 수 있으니 1000달러 이상 증가했지만 8천달러 이상을 기록했다고 서술하는 게 더 적절해보여요. However, this increasing speed dropped and continued
with $1000 incremental rate by 1995 where it reach at just over $12,000 and
$8000 for imports and exports, respectively. 이 문장에서도 증가치가 1000달러인 것으로 보는 것은 부적절합니다.
IELTS 1-9 score scale score: 5.5 modest user
표 내용을 묘사할 때 근사치를 활용하기는 하지만, 보기에도 1000달러라 보기엔 너무 크거나 작은 부분들이 있어서 마지막 문단 서술 내용은 감점요인이 될 수 있어요. 내용을 서술하고 수치나 증감 관련 표현 등을 다시한번 점검하는 습관을 들이면서 연습하시면 도움이 될 것 같아요. 수고하셨습니다!
아이엘츠 라이팅 채점기준 참고하세요 - TA/TR(Task Achievement/Task Response) 문제에 정확히 답변, 적정 분량 - CC(Coherence and Cohesion) 일관성, 응집성 - LR(Lexical Resource) 다양한 어휘표현 - GR(Grammartical Range and Accuracy) 문법 다양성, 정확성 |