Since the word 'well-being' has been a big issue, people living in this modern society start caring for their bodies to be healthier. > start to pay more attention to their health issues...
According to that, there is an argument whether to be more important between prevention of illness is more important than and treatment illness. And some insist that a large proportion of health budget should be invested to health education and preventative measures more than treatment. However, I disagree that treatment has to be more concerned financially. This article will talk about why I disagree with that argument.
First of all, I would like to represent my opinion why I strongly disagree with that opinion. Even though a country invests more money into preventative measures, there are still unexpected illnesses such as cancer or AIDS. These illnesses are fatal for our body and should be treated with a huge amount of money. Hence, it is more required to invest money to treatment.
Of course, it is absolutely needed to spend money for health education and preventative measures; therefore, there should be flexibility. The government has to judge wisely whether which is more important at that time.
Lastly, in my opinion, there needs to be health education about treatment while prevention is more emphasized. Because there are unexpected illnesses, it could be effective to teach about first aid and simple way of cure.
In conclusion, although it is hard to judge which is more important between prevention and treatment, from my point of view, treatment has to be more concerned because of unexpected illness. Also, government's flexibility is definitely needed about that argument.
I think u need to develop each paragraph.. more in depth...
if you don't have enough supports, don;t make 3 -paragraphs body, instead, make 2-paragraphs..... |