▶ Your Answer :
It is irrefutable that the increasing quantity
of waste has been a burgeoning problem in the modernized era. In this essay, reasons and
countermeasures will be illustrated.>> 뭔가 급하게 정리된 느낌이 있습니다 중간에 본인의 의견을 피력해주세요
Two prime reasons associated with growing garbage
are found. First of all, it has happened because of improving productivity as
well as population growth. Most people tend not to do not think about the
consequences of dropping rubbish. Furthermore, >> 글이 길어지기에 끊었습니다 they also assume that somebody is paid to clean
the street. Secondly, the problem is a result of our culture of consumption.
These days, products are not made to last >> 저는 이해할 수 있습니다 하지만 외국인들은 이해하지 못하는 작문입니다 last 라기보단 durable 을 이용해주세요. 문장 끊고 새로 진행해주세요 . If something breaks, we will >> if절 동사가 현재면 주절 조동사가 현재로 나오게 써주세요 throw it
away and buy effortlessly a new one effortlessly. Finally, packaging is an important part of
selling. >> 문장이 깁니다 Therefore, so more and more foods is >> foods 일지라도 음식이라는 하나의 집합이므로 is 가 쓰입니다 sold in plastic packaging, which does not be easily disintegrated
easily.
Governments should spare no effort >> 무슨 말인지 모르겠습니다 to solve
the issue. Firstly, They should be stricter >> strict 라고 써주세요, >> 콤마빼주세요 especially about wasters produced
by companies. For example, governments could enact laws to limits on packaging products
such as toys for children, cosmetics, and food. In this sense, excessive production
of waste by factories would be prevented. Secondly, states should provide
educational courses and programs in terms of the environment to people. Thus, so that they
could be aware of the seriousness of the problem. This, in turn, considers more about
recycling such as using recycling bin and recyclables materials.
In conclusion, it is clear
that there are various reasons for an increasing amount of debris >> 어울리지 않습니다 , and by using
those measures in the above. As the result, governments are able to control the problem.
영어에 부드럽게 작문이 된 부분이 아닌 곳이 꽤 있습니다 읽으면서 살짝 의문이 들던 부분들이 있는데 필요없는 부분은 지워드리고 긴 부분은 끊어드렸습니다 너무 수식을 많이 하지 마시고 주장에 대한 근거 의견 하나하나가 3줄로 요약이 될 순 없습니다 예를 들거나 해서 4~5줄은 되어야 합니다
Task Achievement - 7 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6 6.0 예상합니다 |