▶ Your Answer : In recent times, there is no doubt that as far as traffic is concerned, the rising number of cars has become led to more accidents. Although regular driving tests are beneficial could be one of the solutions, I am against the idea that they could totally replace have totally responsibility on rising accidents on the road with the termly tests in the near future. To begin with, taking regular driving tests might have a couple of advantages as follows. Firstly, specially elders may be well-trained in driving. help people to improve their driving level. >> 설명이 있어야겠죠? 여러 번의 시험으로 운전에 좀 더 익숙해지게 되거나 스킬이 쌓인다 등등이요 For example, although elders have experiences >> 어떤 경험이요?, they need to check their driving tests >> 이건 예시가 아닙니다 예시완 상관없는 문장이고 본론 전체로 보면 중복 밖에 되지 않는 문장입니다. In addition, people who do not drive regularly can have an opportunity to stay experience up-to-date with new driving rules because the road rules are occasionally changed or cancelled blocked off. >> 앞에 내용들과 다르죠? In addition 때문에 그럽니다 주장을 나타내는 부사죠 그래서 다른 주장이 나온겁니다 그리고 위에 주장보다 이 주장이 좋으니 이 주장으로 생각해보시길 바랍니다 because 는 왜냐하면 하면서 설명하는 절이니 because 앞에서 마침표로 끊어주세요 그리고나서 새로운 문장으로 because 에 있는 의견을 제시해주세요 Therefore, taking regular driving tests might be able to get feel stable stability on the roads. However, I do not think it is possible that On the other hand, rising accidents could be replaced by taking regular driving tests. >> 이게 주제인데 주장으로 쓰셨네요 This is because it is clear that the government cannot >> cannot은 붙여 씁니다 control a lot of people who have driver licences. Certainly, the number of drivers is continuously increasing each year. This means that it is hard to monitor each drivers. It might bring serious problems to deal with. Besides, taking regular tests can cause waste of time and money. Drivers not only have to find time but also wait for tests.To keep the test, we may put for more taxes as well. Therefore, this policy could lead to much more loss than profit >> 또 게다가 라는 Besides 로 다른 주장이 나왔습니다. For the reasons mentioned above, I would argue that the drawbacks of taking regular driving tests outweigh its benefits because it cannot solve the problem of accidents. We should find a primary cause to prevent them.
우선 결론에선 새로운 문장을 제시하면 안 되구요 주장을 잘못 펼치면 본문이 처음부터 다른 방향 이상한 방향으로 흘러갑니다 그렇게 됐구요 200자 남짓한 본문 1, 2에 4개의 주장이 들어갔습니다 주장 설명 예시로 갈수록 점점 detail 해져야 합니다 Task1을 작성하시면서 문장 전개와 단어, 문법 정리해보시는게 좋겠다고 생각이 듭니다 본인을 지칭하는 I 는 항상 대문자입니다 이런 간단한 문법들 틀리게 되면 난감합니다 또한 주장은 advan 이다 disadvan 이다 중 하나만 잡고 서술해주세요 하나 하나 다른 의견 쓰면 애매해집니다
Task Achievement - 5 Coherence and Cohesion - 4 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
5.0 예상합니다
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