▶ Your Answer :
The bar graph illustrates how much different sports were played between girls and boys in New Zealand in 2002.
According to the chart, athletics, netball, and swimming are more played by girls than boys. The most popular sports of girls is netball (25%), and the least one is cricket (2%). When it comes to the boys, the most popular sport is soccer while the least is netball (24% and 2% respectively).
On the other hand, tennis, basketball, and athletics are the sports that were shown similar interests by between girls and boys. However, boys played tennis and basketball more than girls. The boys' figures of tennis and basketball are 8% and 7%, and girls' figures are 6.5% and 5.5%, respectively. <(what about athletics?)
Overall, boys played sports that use balls more than girls except for netball. Also, boys were more interested in most of sports than girls.
Score: 5.5 Comment: 정보 organization을 조금 더 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 예를 들어 athletics, netball, swimming은 boys 보다 girls가 더 많이 참여를 했다면 reader가 expect하는 data 는 girls가 어떤 sports를 most/least participate 또는 boys가 어떤 sports를 most/least participate가 아닌 girls가 얼만큼 남자 보다 더 많이 참여를 했는지 입니다. 또한 두 번째/ 세 번재 문단이 focus가 갑자기 바뀌게 됩니다. 두 번재 문단은 sports girls played more에서 sports played the most and least by girls and boys으로 그리고 세 번째문 문단은 sports that were shown similar interests에서 sports boys played more으로 바뀝니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |