▶ Your Answer :
There is are an increasing number of corporations
and individuals using the technology in a form of communications. Due to the
technological development, it helped society to communicate much easier and faster.
However, the privacy invasion and other cyber crimes are inevitable.
Due to the communication technologies, the
form of communication is more convenient. Majority of corporations nowadays
have huge advantages from the use of technologies in communication. By the use
of video calls, Bluetooth, wireless conference calls, and emails, those
technological devices help the companies to access the data globally and save
the time in meetings. With the aids of these devices and its availability, the
businesses can save the time while in travelling and they can cover more tasks and
complete the tasks faster in a timely manner.
Furthermore, individuals have the opportunities to expand their social
boundaries. More than 80% of people have possession of mobile phones, and among
those <(what percent?) have used the social networking sites to make global friends. Without
technological devices, it would be difficult to make many global friends and
keeping up with the relationships.
Despite all these advantages, there are
possible drawbacks of cyber crimes that are threaten people's privacy and the
risk of falsifiable information given by the foreign country-based companies.
Statistics claim that the number of cyber crimes are increasing every year, that
targeting companies and individuals. In other words, criminals can easily do
the scam through the devices by pretending to be the victim's friends. <Need better connection> If friends or
families asked about the private information, people easily give out their
personal information without any doubt. Furthermore, companies are also not free
from cyber crimes. The Corruption Index Organisation indicates that, the
developing countries have higher corruption index than developed nations. The
higher corruption index means, there is more falsification in the information.
Sometimes the companies are inevitable to build the subsidiary in developing
countries and there is the risk of falsified information. Therefore, the subsidiary's information cannot be trusted and that could cause more work for
the mother companies. <(what is the negative impact of falsified information for companies?)
In conclusion, the communication has brought
benefits to the convenient lifestyles for individuals and businesses, whereas
there is a potential risk of being the target of from the crimes.
Score: 6.5 Comment: 질문에 대한 답은 좋은데 내용이 too wordy하게 들립니다. Body 내용을 summarize하시는 것을 추천합니다. 그 외에는 글 안에 있는 코멘트나 수정을 봐주시면 될 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |